One-on-One Coaching

Before you start

Gather the following from the user:

1. Who is the direct report? (Role, tenure, seniority level)
2. What type of 1:1 is this? (Regular check-in, feedback session, career growth, or blocker resolution)
3. What happened since the last 1:1? (Key events, deliverables, incidents, or team changes)
4. Is there specific feedback to deliver? (Positive reinforcement or constructive feedback with a concrete situation in mind)

If the user says "just a regular 1:1," push back: "What's the one thing you'd regret not discussing? Start there."

1:1 meeting framework

Preparation (5 minutes before)

1. Review notes from the last 1:1 — check on any commitments made by either side.
2. Pick 1-2 topics you want to raise. Your report owns the rest of the agenda.
3. Write down the single most important question you want answered by the end.

Opening (first 3 minutes)

Start with a genuine, open-ended question. Rotate through these:

• "What's on your mind?"
• "What's been the highlight of your week?"
• "What's something that frustrated you recently?"

Do not open with status updates. If the report starts with a status dump, redirect: "I can read that in the standup notes — what do you actually want to talk about?"

Core conversation

Choose the conversation type that fits the meeting purpose. You can combine types within a single 1:1.

Career growth conversation

1. Ask: "Where do you want to be in 12 months? What skills would you need to get there?"
2. Identify one concrete gap between current performance and the next level.
3. Co-create a 30-day action: a project, stretch assignment, or learning goal that addresses the gap.
4. Write it down during the meeting — vague aspirations without written actions don't stick.

Feedback conversation (use SBI framework)

Deliver feedback using Situation-Behavior-Impact. Never wing it — prepare the SBI before the meeting.

SBI feedback template:

Situation: [When and where — be specific]
Behavior:  [What the person did — observable actions only, not intent]
Impact:    [The effect on the team, project, or you]

Positive example:

Situation: During Thursday's incident review
Behavior:  You walked the team through the root cause timeline
           with clear evidence before proposing a fix
Impact:    The team aligned on a solution in 15 minutes instead
           of debating hypotheticals — it saved us at least an hour

Constructive example:

Situation: In yesterday's sprint planning
Behavior:  You committed to 4 large stories without raising
           concerns about the migration work still in progress
Impact:    The team now has a plan that's likely unrealistic,
           and I'm worried we'll have to cut scope mid-sprint

After delivering constructive feedback, ask: "What's your perspective on this?" Then listen. Feedback is a dialogue, not a verdict.

Blocker resolution

1. Ask: "What's slowing you down the most right now?"
2. Classify the blocker: technical, process, people, or clarity.
3. For each blocker, decide who owns the resolution and by when.
4. If the blocker is outside your control, commit to escalating it with a specific timeline.

Regular check-in

Use a lightweight structure when there's no specific agenda:

1. Energy check: "On a scale of 1-5, how are you feeling about work right now?" Follow up on anything below 3.
2. Wins: "What went well since we last talked?" Acknowledge it explicitly.
3. Concerns: "What's one thing that could go better?"
4. Support: "What do you need from me this week?"

Closing (last 3 minutes)

1. Summarize commitments: "Here's what I heard us agree to..." — read them back.
2. Ask: "Is there anything we didn't cover that you wanted to raise?"
3. Write down action items with owners and due dates before ending the call.

Quality checklist

Before ending the 1:1, verify:

• The report spoke more than you did (aim for 70/30 split)
• At least one action item has a specific owner and due date
• You asked at least one question you didn't already know the answer to
• Feedback (if delivered) used the SBI format with a concrete situation
• Career growth topics were discussed at least once per month
• You did not solve problems the report could solve themselves — you coached, not directed
• Notes are written down, not left to memory

Common mistakes

• Turning 1:1s into status meetings. Status belongs in standups and dashboards. 1:1s are for the topics that don't have another venue.
• Skipping or rescheduling repeatedly. Cancelling 1:1s signals that the relationship isn't a priority. Reschedule same-week if you must, but never skip two in a row.
• Giving feedback without a specific situation. "You need to communicate better" is not feedback. Without a concrete SBI, the report has nothing to act on.
• Doing all the talking. If you're speaking more than 30% of the time, you're not coaching — you're lecturing. Ask a question and wait.
• Avoiding hard conversations. Delaying difficult feedback doesn't make it easier — it makes it stale. Deliver it within a week of the situation.
• No follow-through on action items. If you committed to unblocking something and didn't, own it at the next 1:1 before asking about their commitments.